The Third Canidate
by Salted Top Hat
Summary: It is the 2008 presidential election, and thousands of people are tuning in to see who will be president. Liberal Obama, Vietnam Fighter John Mccain, and...ALICE CULLEN? Is it the end of the world or another hair brained scheme? FUNNY IS GURANTEED! R&R! :


**The Third Candidate **

I thought of this story one day and it was too good to pass up! It is bound to be hilarious! Read on!

**THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW**

Please do not be insulted by political references, I am a democrat!!

This is set in my favorite area of time, post eclipse pre breaking dawn

I don't own Twilight, or any of the people in politics

Lets go!

**Alice's POV:**

The T.V blared from the screen in the family room. Edward, Bella, Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper were all watching the news. Emmett and Rosalie were in the other room too, but they were mainly just snuggling with each other. The others have been very interested in the race lately, and have been constantly tuning in to hear about it. Especially Bella, who was a Clinton supporter. She liked the idea of having a women in the Oval Office.

"_We interrupt this program for a announcement! Hillary Clinton is dropping out of the race!"_

"WHAT!" I heard Bella shriek. "Edward! Turn it up!"

Edward rolled his eyes and picked up the remote. Hillary Clinton's face, which seriously needs to undergo a makeover, filled the screen, and her raspy voice blared from the speakers.

"_It has been a tough race but I am dropping out. I want to thank all of my supporters..."_

Bella turned off the T.V, disgusted.

"I can't believe this!"

Edward kissed her head, and patted her shoulders in encouragement.

"The race was looking bad for her anyway Bells, she needed to drop out."

Bella groaned.

"But I don't like Obama or Mccain!"

I skipped into the room, everyone looked at me if I was crazy, due to the depressing moment. I remembered Carlisle was a Clinton fan too. Come to think of it, didn't Carlisle buy a Clinton bobble head at the convenience store?

Well my family, you would say, is very diverse in politics. Edward is very liberal, and sided with Obama, but he also supports the death penalty. Jasper is extremely conservative due to his southern roots, so he favors Mccain. Esme is an independent, because she says "I can't side with one or the other before I hear both sides of the story!". Rosalie and Emmett don't really care.

And me? Well you would say that I am an independent like Esme, but I haven't really been very passionate about politics since John F. Kennedy was assassinated. It may surprise some people, but I used to be really involved in politics. J.F.K was a great president, it broke my heart when he died.

So since then, I haven't even voted.

But seeing Bella so sad over Clinton dropping out, sparked something in me. She was right! A women _should _be in the White House. And I knew just who that women should be!

"I think I should run for president!"

**Edward's POV:**

As soon as she said this, I burst out laughing.

_Alice? President? _Yeah right!

Bella was laughing hysterically too, and soon she was rolling on the floor. I had to pick her up before she hit her head on the end of the coffee table, with her luck she would get amnesia, or something. **(ME: Read Alice's Closet! D)**

Then I heard Alice's thoughts and realized she was dead serious.

"You're...you're not joking?"

"_Of course _I'm not joking Edward! Would I joke about something like this?"

Immediately the room broke into silent thoughts, everyone pondering the idea.

_There's no way we can keep our secret!_

_The Volturi will surely get us..._

_I think its a great idea!_

_Hm, that would be interesting. _

_We do have enough money to campaign, and we also have the advantage what with Edward reading minds and Alice seeing the future..._

But Carlisle spoke first.

"Alice, do you realize that it would be very difficult to hide the fact that we are vampires?"

Alice grinned, she was anticipating this question.

"Nothing would be hard for me! I'm Alice Cullen!"

Emmett roared with laughter and Jasper turned to glare at him. This was a serious situation.

Bella piped up and asked another question, which surprised me. It wasn't usually like her to confront.

"I know you're doing this for me, but really you don't have to Alice..."

"Bella I'm not only doing it for _you_, but for the good of women, our family, vampires, and even those damn werewolf's in La Push! I think it would be a good thing if I were in the White House! I do have loads of political expertise!"

Bella's eyes widened in shock.

"You?? _Politics?_ Has the world gone mad??"

"Bella, the world has gone mad long ago." I answered her rhetorical question. Bella smiled.

"I know that better than anyone else."

Carlisle cleared his throat, assuming himself as the head of the family once again.

"You do know that the age limit for president is thirty five."

"I can make myself look thirty five." She said, with no uncertainty in her voice. She seemed especially confident about this.

"I guess we don't have a choice do we." Carlisle sighed.

"YAY!" Alice lept into the air and started talking to herself "This is going to be _fun! _Where do I call the oval office people where I can get a bunch of campaigners on my side? Oh and I'll need a false name, one that sounds really old and generic, hmmm... oh! How about Abigail Smith? YES! That's perfect!"

She stretched her arms wide, in a theatrical fashion.

"TODAY IS THE DAY I BECOME ABIGAIL SMITH! AND I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!"

Dear god, I have a feeling that the end of the world is nearer than we thought.

**What do you think? You know I love your opinions. Review, please!**


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